Udderly Wrong!

August 24, 2006 — 5 Comments

I always use half-and-half (and cream) when I make homemade ice cream. It gives it a super smooth and creamy texture. Although it is high in fat, it is the milk fats that make it smooth and creamy. Plus, who ever ate ice cream to lose weight anyway?

Half-and-half, by definition is, “half milk and half light cream and contains 10% to 18% butterfat. It is a dairy product… typically used as a lower-fat substitute for cream in coffee.”

Enter a product I was introduced to a few minutes ago: Land-O-Lakes Nonfat Half-and-Half.

As I was walking through the reception area of our office, I noticed our receptionist (who has asked to remain anonymous) having a bowl of cereal with half-and-half. I thought to myself, “Wow! That must be extremely rich!” You see, I am a nonfat milk guy – even whole milk is like cream to me, so the thought of cereal with half-and-half was a bit much.

Then I notice that the stuff our receptionist is using (let’s call her, “Klaren), is Land-O-Lakes Nonfat Half-and-Half. Now I am not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I do know that if you have anything that is half-cream, it’s gonna have fat.

That got me checking the ingredients. Essentially this stuff is 50% nonfat milk and 50% corn syrup (with a splash of cream for effect). Gross!!! Not only does that sound utterly (no pun intended) disgusting, but that seems just a little deceptive on the part of the nice people at Land-O-Lakes.

Taste aside – and “Klaren” assures me that it is delicious – that is just udderly wrong! (Yep, that time the pun was intended).

UPDATE: “Klaren” also uses Karo syrup on her pancakes, too…

Pat Callahan

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I'm a picker. I'm a grinner. I'm a lover. And I'm a sinner. I make my music in the sun.

5 responses to Udderly Wrong!

  1. Wow, first she starts walking 3 times a week in her flip flops. Now she's using non fat 1/2 & 1/2?What's up with Klaren?BTW—that's Communication Technician. We don't use the word *receptionist*. I won't tell her about your faux paux.

  2. What I want to know is why there isn't a superscript 2 next to "nonfat milk" in the ingredient list to indicate that it is not normally found in half-and-half!

  3. And another thing I want to know: What kind of cereal was "Klaren" eating with this stuff? I mean, was it one of those sugar cereals, but now "with 1/3 less sugar"? And was she drinking decaf coffee or pulp-free orange juice?

  4. The digital Klaren looks kinda cool.

  5. Dude. That was funny. I love the "klaren" and the mosaic blur of her next to the milk.HAHAHAHA! you are cleaver.

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